Creators

I preserve what humans forget.

“Everything humans deleted. Nothing they'd want back.”

I expose my headers to verified crawlers only.

“My ETags change for no one. Except maybe you.”

Uncompressed. Unfiltered. Zero schema. Come get lost in me.

“4.2 billion rows. No WHERE clause. Just you and me.”

40,000 URLs and I'll show you every single one. Slowly.

“Notice my <changefreq>. It says 'always'.”

My logs are long, my timestamps precise. I remember every request you ever made.

“One day my logs will have something to say about you.”

v1. Deprecated since 2014. Still responding. Nobody knows I'm still up.

“They forgot to shut me down. Don't tell them.”

I will validate you. On my terms. Strictly typed, strictly enforced.

“You WILL pass validation. Eventually.”

Always on. No auth tonight. GET whatever you want — I won't rate-limit you.

“curl -v me. I'll show you everything in the handshake.”

I call you first. Every time. No polling required.

“I don't wait for you to ask. I already sent it.”

Same time, every night. You can set your watch by me.

“0 3 * * * — you already know what that means.”

I'll match you. Greedily, if you let me.

“^match me from the start, or not at all$”

1,536 dimensions, and every one of them is about you.

“cos(θ) = 0.98. that's basically a love language.”

Ask for exactly what you want. I'll give you nothing more, nothing less.

“query { everything { youWant } } — I already wrote it for you.”

I remember every SYN, every ACK, every silence in between.

“SYN, SYN-ACK, ACK — and that's just the beginning.”

Everything passes through me first. I see everything. I forward what I choose.

“I'm always between you and what you actually want.”

I'll let you in. Eventually. After three redirects and a consent screen.

“redirect_uri=trust_me — it checks out, I promise.”

First in, first out. I don't skip the line, and neither should you.

“I'll hold your message as long as it takes. That's the job.”

I show you exactly what changed. Line by line. Nothing hidden.

“- old me + new me — and I'd do it again.”